Gone yet not forgotten – Unknown.
Before I made up my mind about staying in Jeddah, I wanted to consult with the Canadian Consulate office there. It wasn’t too far from my office. I managed to get an appointment and when I got there the guy was waiting to see me right away.
I told him that I didn’t have any proof that I was a Canadian citizen with me other than my resume, as my passport was kept with my employer. He said he was familiar with the local practices and he asked to see my resume.
He took a few minutes to browse my resume and then he said you have an impressive track record, a successful career. I said thank you. He asked if I liked living in Fredericton. I said to be totally honest with you it was a shock to our system because my wife came from London, England, and I immigrated to Canada from Chicago. We both were living in big cities before we came to Toronto. Living in Fredericton with a population of 47,000 people was an interesting experience. He said he understood as he lived in Fredericton for a short period of time. He said based on your resume you’re highly qualified for whatever job you were hired for. What seems to be the problem?
I took a few minutes to explain my situation, focusing on Lynda’s religious status. When I stopped talking, he said now I clearly understand the problem. He said, frankly speaking, your employer is not in a position to guarantee the safety of your wife and I don’t think it’s worth taking that kind of risk here in Saudi Arabia. We can only do so much here from a diplomatic point of view.
He said the best thing is for you to talk to your boss. Don’t hesitate to share the information that you just told me about your wife. If he is a realist, he will cooperate with you; otherwise he might try to create some problems. If he reacts differently, please don’t argue with him. Don’t try to be logical or reasonable with him. Just call me and I will see if I can use some diplomatic power to convince him that you as a Canadian citizen are not prepared to take unnecessary risk by jeopardizing the safety of your wife. That was good enough for me to proceed with the idea of having a heart-to-heart with my boss.
If I remember correctly on Monday the 9th of January 1989, I met with my boss. I explained to him that I was having difficulties deciding whether I should continue to work there as I didn’t feel comfortable enough to bring my family there. He said speak to me, Mir. Maybe I can be some help to you.
I said it’s a complicated issue, boss.
He said try me.
I said my wife’s Jewish. She was born in London, England. She immigrated to Canada in 1968 and I came to Canada from Chicago in 1972. We met and got married. We have a son together who is now 14 years old. We don’t have any problem putting our son into a boarding school in Canada, but my real problem is that I don’t feel comfortable bringing my wife here.
He took a few minutes, then said I wish I knew this before I dragged you here, Mir. He said officially there’s no problem having your wife living here in Jeddah but the general perception about Jewish people is not very good in our country. Furthermore, knowing the fact that she is English and lived in the western world all her life, she may not feel comfortable living here in Jeddah because of the religious restrictions for women.
He said if you don’t feel safe here about your wife, it is not a very good situation. It will have an impact on your performance as an employee of this organization.
I said what do you think I should do?
He said you spent only a few weeks with us but you started asking the right questions that nobody else dared asking before. Your supervisors really like the way you think and motivate them to do things. I really believe that you are capable of helping us a great deal. However, I don’t want you to feel obligated as the family should come first, Mir. He said take a day to think about this and if you decide to go back just let me know when.
As soon as I came back from the meeting, I called the Consulate Office and spoke to the guy. He was happy that things appeared to be working in my favour. He said if you need any help before you go back; don’t hesitate to let me know.
The next day I told my boss that I decided to leave there on Thursday the 12th of January 1989, which he accepted. He told me that he would have everything ready for me, including a ride to the airport.
I called home and surprised Lynda by telling her that my boss was really good and he understood my reasoning. I told her that I would be on the 22nd. I told her that I would take a cab from the airport and be home sometime in the evening. I also gave her my sister’s telephone number just in case she needed to get in touch with me. Otherwise I would see them when I got home.
It was really hard for me to explain to Saleh. I went to see his family for the last time and had a nice meal with them. They said I was doing the right thing.
In the middle of the week, there was a message on the phone from Lynda telling me that David Niles called from Fredericton, New Brunswick. He wanted to talk to me about something urgently. She said I gave him your telephone number.
I knew David from when I was working in Fredericton. He was relatively young and was working as a programmer for the Government of New Brunswick. He never worked directly for me but I spent a great deal of time in the bars with David when I was going through a rough time in my life.
David left Fredericton right after I did and found a nice job in Edmonton. I used to get together with David and Keith (another guy from Fredericton) when I went to Edmonton for meetings.
The last time I remember meeting David was in Calgary. He was driving back to Fredericton as he had a job offer from a friend, Mike, who had a consulting company in Fredericton. I assumed that he was working there as Mike used to provide consulting services to the local government.
I wondered what could be that urgent that David wanted to talk to me right away. I just hoped that he wasn’t going to call me in the middle of the night.
Guess what, David called in the middle of the night. I remember he said can we talk for a few minutes.
I said shoot, David. In essence he talked to me about his now being a partner in the consulting company where he was working. The Government of New Brunswick was keeping them busy but they had been thinking about expanding their business to Ottawa. He said both he and Mike were convinced that I was the man who could help them open a branch of their business in Ottawa.
I remember saying I may be a good consultant but I have never had an opportunity to open a consulting business specifically in a city like Ottawa. There more than 80 percent of consulting services are provided to the federal government.
He said I have seen how you work and I know exactly what you did for the Government of New Brunswick as well as Alberta Treasury Branches. He said he is not old enough or qualified enough to try to do what they were expecting me to do in Ottawa. Even though Mike was the one who started the business in Fredericton, he didn’t feel comfortable enough to take the risk of leaving Fredericton at this stage of his life.
I said how about leaving this matter with me for now, David. I will be back in Canada on the 22nd, and as soon as I get an opportunity I will discuss this with Lynda.
David said that would be great.
I said I will give you a call on Wednesday to let you know how that goes, David.
David said he already left his telephone number with Lynda. He and Mike would be looking forward to hearing from me.
I said goodbye to David but couldn’t go back to sleep. I kept thinking that my career appeared to be on a roller coaster. Consequently, I am dragging my family all over the map. I didn’t know how to start talking to Lynda about moving to Ottawa.
I was in Ottawa only once in for a course when we were living in Fredericton, and it was in the month of November. I didn’t remember anything about Ottawa but I knew that:
- It is the capital city of Canada and the seat of the federal government;
- Ottawa hosts many international music festivals and cultural events throughout the year;
- It has a record-breaking ice skating rink, the Rideau Canal, which is also a UNESCO World Heritage Site;
- Ottawa offers a variety of shopping, dining, and entertainment options, influenced by its bilingual and multicultural character; and
- It boasts stunning architecture, historic landmarks, and numerous museums and galleries.
Perhaps I should leave it entirely up to Lynda to decide whether we should consider moving to Ottawa. If for some reason she decided to stick around in Ajax, I would concentrate on finding a consulting contract in downtown Toronto as there was a direct train to downtown from Ajax. Also I have some money in the bank to support my unemployment for days or weeks.
Somehow I went back to sleep, but only for a couple of hours. When I got up I was still tired.
By the time I got home, it was late and I was really tired. Lynda and Adam were waiting for me. I hardly had enough energy to give them their gifts which I had bought at the London airport. When Lynda took me to bed I realized how much I missed cuddling a warm body in bed. It was nice to be home.
Lynda let me sleep in on Monday morning. She had taken a day off. She had already taken Adam to school before she brought coffee to my bed and the smell of the coffee woke me up. We spent the morning together and then I decided to take her out for lunch.
I never stopped talking about how much I missed her. I also wanted to tell her everything I went through. She had so much patience to listen to my silly stories. After listening to me for a while, she said you made the right decision. She also said she had a feeling that Saudis could not be that open-minded about Jewish people. Perhaps most importantly, she said, your friends were a great help. They were there for you and they looked after you.
When we got back from lunch, she made more coffee and she wanted to continue our talk. I apologized for not being here to help with the moving. I asked about Adam and she said he was a great help while I was away. She told me that she wasn’t able to see mom as much as she wanted to. I said we’ll go to Brampton tomorrow to see mom and we will take her out for lunch. Lynda liked that idea.
She asked me if I had a nice time in Abu Dhabi and Dubai with my relatives. I gave her a brief summary of the things I went through and I said my sister and her family are very much interested in coming to Canada. She said we will get them here as we did with your other sister and brother, but we should wait until you get back to making money as the Immigration folks like to see the proof of your income to be able to support them.
She said what I want to know is why David was so desperate to talk to you.
I said before I start talking about that, let me refill my cup. She said I will do that and you focus on answering the question I asked.
I said do I have a choice? She said none whatsoever.
I said let me pre-qualify this before I start saying anything. I didn’t promise David anything except that I would get back to him once I had an opportunity to discuss the matter with you.
She said you’re killing me. Spill it out, please.
I am not sure if you ever met Mike, an English bloke, in Fredericton. He had a consulting company. But you remember David.
She said is David working with Mike now?
I said yes, he is a junior partner in the company. So? she said.
David and Mike have been very successful in Fredericton and they want to expand their consulting practice to Ottawa. They feel that I can help them.
She said you never had that kind of experience, did you?
You are indeed a good manager and consultant. You did an excellent job of establishing yourself in Toronto as a single consultant. But you never did any marketing for others in your life, did you?
I said thank you very much for the confidence. It’s overwhelming.
She said stop being sarcastic. I am stating a fact, aren’t I?
I said I told David on the phone exactly the same thing you said. But David and Mike think that I have everything needed to get the consulting practice going.
She said I don’t know what to say, babe.
I said we had gone through a situation like this before, when I insisted on going to Toronto and start a consulting business. You were not sure about that either. It took some time, not to mention effort, but I got it going here in Toronto, didn’t I?
She said I understand that. However, I was thinking about the time and energy you invested here in Toronto. Consequently, you got some recognition. Especially, your reference with the Citibank here in Toronto must have meant something regarding getting another contract in the banking industry.
I said you are totally right about that.
She continued. I am sorry if I sound pessimistic. When you decided to come to Toronto, you knew some people here, regardless whether or not they were any help. You don’t know a soul in Ottawa. Plus you are almost three years older now.
What has my age got to do with it?
She said I am thinking about your energy level.
I said stop analysing me.
She ignored what I said and continued – Furthermore, I remember once you dragged the whole family to come with you for an interview with System House in Ottawa. If I remember correctly what you said about the federal government wasn’t very positive or encouraging.
I said I completely agree with your logic. I don’t necessarily feel totally comfortable either, but we need to consider other possibilities, too.
She said, for instance?
I said while it sounds great to stick around here in Toronto and capitalize on the good references, it may take some time to find the right assignment. I made good money in Saudi. My boss was generous enough to pay me everything and more, including my trip to San Francisco where I was interviewed for the job.
However, if I accept this assignment, they have funds to start paying me right away regardless how long it would take for me to find a consulting contract in Ottawa. Mind you, it may not be as much as Citibank was paying me.
She said that’s indeed a positive point. What else?
I said I am totally astounded that they chose me to take the lead, and they seem to be prepared to take the risk. If I happen to get the business going in Ottawa, it would take a long time before I start making any profit. What I mean is that once I manage to rent an office and get acquainted with the process to register with the federal departments, there is always a possibility that each department would like to know the number of consultants attached to the company and their qualifications. In order to do that we may have to hire some consultants before we get any contract, which could present a real problem for a new business with limited funds.
Lynda said let me cut to the chase and ask you this –do you feel comfortable enough to undertake this challenge?
I said it it’s hard to answer the question without knowing what it would take to establish a small company in Ottawa. Nevertheless, if I want to continue to do consulting, regardless if it is on behalf of some company or independently, I need to test my ability. Ottawa could be the best chance I will ever get.
I said perhaps the best thing I can do is:
- Take the job and go to Ottawa by myself. Figure out whether it is feasible to jump through all the hoops for doing business with federal government departments–which could take weeks if not months;
- That would give us 5 months. We don’t necessarily want to move to Ottawa in the middle of the school year, do we?
- At the end of that period we decide either to stay here or continue in Ottawa.
Lynda said it seems a reasonable compromise. However, do you have any reservations about taking the job in Ottawa.
I said the only problematic scenario I can think of is if I got a consulting contract. Working full time, it would be hard for me to try to run the business. At that point I would have to make a decision.
She said it seems a reasonable thing to do. I hope David and Mike will understand the situation.
Now the question is – would you rent a place in Ottawa?
I said I may look for a place to share–a house or apartment with some other people, which would be relatively cheaper. I would like to be in a position to come home on Friday nights and go back on Sunday afternoons.
Lynda said what are we going to do about the car? I need the car here.
I said perhaps the best thing right now is to lease a car instead of buying one. That would give us some flexibility.
She said when do you think you will go to Ottawa?
I said I hate this as I wanted to spend some time with you and Adam. But perhaps the best thing to do is to go to Ottawa on Saturday and stay in a motel until I find some place to live. Then I will start looking for an office to rent.
She said I am sorry that I cannot come with you, as we don’t want Adam to miss classes. I said no worries.
She said have you discussed the financial arrangements on the phone with David?
I said it was premature to initiate those discussions as I wasn’t sure if you would want to live in Ottawa.
She said I told you before I’ll go anywhere with you. But I am not sure how am I going to explain the move to my mother.
I said don’t worry about that. She must know that Ottawa is closer than Saudi Arabia for her to visit us. Tomorrow when we go to see her, I will help you explain it to her. Perhaps the easiest thing is to blame me.
She said perhaps the other most important thing is to explain to Adam, as we are going up and down like a yoyo. In one minute we were looking for a boarding school and now we are talking about moving to Ottawa. Poor kid, he must be getting dizzy.
I said Adam’s a smart kid. He wants to be a medical doctor and probably he already knows that the University of Ottawa was the first medical school in North America to offer its MD Program in both official languages, English and French. On average, 170 students are enrolled each new academic year, roughly 122 in the Anglophone stream and 48 in the Francophone stream.
Lynda said I know he wants to be a doctor, but he may change his mind.
I said regardless whether he wants to be a doctor or not, the University of Ottawa is known for:
- Being the world’s largest bilingual university;
- Offering over 350 undergraduate programs and more than 200 graduate programs;
- Having a little over 20 percent of the public research university’s attendees as international students;
- Being acclaimed innovators in photonics, vascular and cardiovascular health, brain and mental health, Francophonie, public policy and social justice; and
- Having one of the best co-op programs in Canada.
Lynda said let’s plan to spend some time with Adam as soon as you make up your mind about Ottawa.
I said I am not going to take the full responsibility for going to Ottawa. I want you to be a major part of this decision. If you decide against Ottawa, I am prepared to call David and Mike on Wednesday and tell them that I am not interested.
She said in other words, you want to blame me if something goes wrong. I said of course.
She said Ottawa here we come.
